I was sitting today with 2 beings that usually speak in English when I’m around however this time they were speaking in a language that I couldn’t understand. I thought it must be because they are speaking on something they don’t want me to know, like keeping specific information from me. I than heard one of them speaks my Name and immediately, I became alert and more curious to know what those beings are talking about because it has to do with me.
What I was revealing to myself is:
When someone speaks my name through a language I do not understand, I think I did something wrong or someone is gossiping about me or that I’m not worthy enough to participate in the conversation. All of those thoughts and reactions are – Back Chats.
What I’m noticing and seeing in families with young children is that- whenever the parent wants to say something but doesn’t want the child to understand, the parent speaks in a language the child doesn’t know. The problem is that the child name stays the same in every language and when the child picks up his name what happens? Back Chats! The very first backchat starts in a very young age, at home, within the family construct.
So the child goes and think he did something wrong and start feeling anxiety, fear and guilt. Usually, the child won’t say anything to interrupt the parent by asking what the parent was speaking about because the child experience inferiority in that moment and the fear shut the child down.
Another cool point to look at is how judgement is being formed in a very young age. Parents have the tendency to speak about “adult stuff” like sexuality in a different language so that the child won’t understand. And if they don’t know another language, they will speak very quietly or develop their own secret language which the child cannot understand. But you know, children know everything, they pick up our shit but they do not express it, they suppress it. And so, they develop an entire belief system that sexuality is wrong, and can only be expressed in closed doors, it’s not allowed to speak freely about those kinds of things and… Back chats emerge.
Therefore, Backchats are the direct result of the upbringing wherein parents don’t understand the consequences of their actions.
What would be the solution? First to understand what Back chat is, how it was created, how it keeps on being generating in our mind and what are the consequences of the acceptance and allowances of one’s participation in back chat.
Secondly, One must take responsibility for one’s back chat through assisting and supporting self to stop participating in back chat and get self back ‘Here’ through investigating what self has accepted and allowed self to be and become; to be self honest about it and seeing it as it is, without judgement and apply Self Forgiveness and walk the correction.
So – to assist and support yourself to see the back chat, stop the back chat and get yourself back ‘here’, as the physical, for the very first time – Investigate the Desteni I Process. Because it is not only about you – it is about your children and how we fuck up our children through not understanding and realizing who and what we are. It is time to stop ourselves from creating unnecessary consequences because really – enough is enough.
I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to realize that when I’m talking in a language the child can’t understand, he picks it up and create back chat through sensing I’m speaking about him.
I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to realize that when the child doesn’t express and/or ask me what I’m talking about when I’m speaking in a language the child can’t understand, I’m supporting the polarity created as me being the authority/superiority and the child as the submissive/inferior.
I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to see how I’m directly responsible for the creation of backchat in a child’s mind when I’m speaking in a language that he can’t understand when the child is around and thus, I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed and accepted myself to realize, see and understand the consequences of supporting a child backchat.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that if I speak in a language a child can’t understand, I won’t be require to explain him the point I’m facing because I perceive the child to be less than me and not capable of understanding how the system/point works.
I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to explain the child in details and in clarity how the system works and instead, I believe that I’m protecting him from the system by blinding himself to what is really here, not seeing and understanding that by me protecting him, I’m supporting the perpetuation of the current system by keeping the child blind and ignorant.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to – when someone speaks my name in a language I don’t understand, to immediately access fear that I’ve done something wrong or that I’m not worthy enough to participate in the conversation through participating in back chat, instead of standing up, ask the conversation to be directed in a language I understand and face whatever is here within self trust, self honesty and humbleness.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to access fear, unworthiness and inferiority when a conversation is being conducted in a language I don’t understand because I assume that the object of the conversation is me and bad things are being said.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing backchat due to assumptions that I’m creating in my mind when beings are speaking in a language I don’t understand wherein I immediately believe and perceive they are speaking about me and I shouldn’t ask them to speak in a language I understand.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel inferior when my name is being spoken in a conversation that is being conducted in a language I do not understand, and within that, I accept and allowed the perpetuation of the accepted pattern within the family dynamic wherein a child must be the submissive/inferior and the parent must be the authority/superior.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react when someone speaks my name within a conversation that is being conducted in a language I do not understand because I’ve attached that conversation to when parents are speaking in a language a child cannot understand when the child did something wrong and the parents having conversation of how to direct the child/point.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that a solution for moments when I want to say something that involve the child and I don’t want the child to understand, is to speak in a language the child cannot understand, instead of looking for a solution that is best for all because when I allow this pattern to continue, I’m accepting and allowing the creation of back chat in the child’s mind.
When and as I see myself wanting to speak in a language that a child around me cannot understand, I stop, I breathe and I see how to direct the conversation without me having to change the language. I understand my responsibility towards that child that is equal and one as me, I realize that by changing the language I’m supporting with his creation of backchat and I understand that in that moment, I’m able to take responsibility and assist and support myself in finding a solution that is best for all without compromising myself of the child.
When and as I hear someone speaks my name within a conversation that is conducted in a language that I do not understand, I stop, I breathe and I bring myself back here. I direct the point by asking the person to speak in a language I understand and directing myself to not engage with back chats as assumptions that are coming from the experience of inferiority, fear and guilt.
Thanks.
Family for Equality 